A press release from Kyle Korver and Kevin Curtis regarding racial inequalities in professional sports
Posted on April 17, 2007
With the full support of their families and friends, NBA forward—and Ashton Kutcher body double—Kyle Korver and NFL wide receiver Kevin Curtis are proud to announce the founding of the Alliance for the Preservation of White Athletes (APWA), a civil liberties watchdog group that intends to fight unfair hiring practices in professional sports.
It is common knowledge that the number of white athletes in the NFL and NBA is diminishing rapidly, and the APWA is very concerned about this trend. “I just don’t feel comfortable being stuck in a locker room with all those black guys,” Korver says. “I mean, it wasn’t long ago that there would have been two, maybe even three American whites on the floor at once, and now we’re lucky to see that a couple times a year.”
“It’s sad,” Curtis says. “White kids in the suburbs used to have role models they could believe in. Steve Largent, Fred Biletnikoff, Ed McCaffery, that McConkey guy who played for the Giants, I think. Now, there’s just me and a handful of others, and I include guys like James Thrash who probably aren’t even white, but they could pass for it if you looked from really far away. The point is, there aren’t enough white guys in the league, and, frankly, I think it’s wrong.”
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Filed Under TMC, Football, Baseball, Basketball, Kyle Korver, Kevin Curtis, Phil McConkey | Leave a Comment
Poo-tee-weet?
Posted on April 12, 2007
Kurt Vonnegut would probably never stop laughing if he saw how many tributes were written to him today, but I can’t help myself– the two people most responsible for my being a writer are, in order, my dad and Kurt Vonnegut. I know I’ll manage quite well without either of them around, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it or pretend that it doesn’t bother me.
It’s probably worth noting that when Anna Nicole Smith– a drug addicted whore with no discernible talents or usefulness– died, she became the top story on every news station for over a month, but when Vonnegut– one of the great American writers to ever live, and one of the most influential Americans of the 20th century– died, he became a footnote on the day’s news.
Take from that what you will.
A Vonnegut quote from 2004:
My last words? “Life is no way to treat an animal, not even a mouse.”
Filed Under TMC, Kurt Vonnegut, Nonfictional stuff that doesn't belong here | 4 Comments
When we Knew the World Was Going to End
Posted on April 4, 2007
When the national anthem began, we stood as one, hats flipped off of heads, hands over hearts, eyes on the field where the President stood, and we really listened to the words again, after years of ignoring them, sipping on our beers and sneaking looks down the tank tops of the underage girls two rows in front of us and whooping like idiots when the singer sang about bombs and death. We realized how sad the song is, how we’ve come to celebrate death and savagery wrapped in a cloak of godliness. And we shed a few tears—but only a few because the last few days had wrung us dry—when we asked ourselves the inevitable question: is this the same kind of song they sing before their soccer games or camel races or kabaddi or whatever they do over there? Then we remembered again. We were sure we would always remember.
The air was still thick with dust and days-old smoke, a mist washing over us, curling into our nostrils and diving into our lungs. It was relentless; no matter how hard we coughed or how often we blinked, it was still there, coming, coming, always marching toward us, and we couldn’t help but wonder what we’d just swallowed—was that just dust from a broken cinderblock that rested on our seats? Was that ash from a burning car that fell on our tongues as we breathed open-mouthed so as to avoid smelling the death in the air? Was that our fathers, brothers, sisters, neighbors dusting our hair and following us home? Read more
Filed Under TMC, Baseball, kabaddi, apocalyptic nonsense | Leave a Comment
Tyrone Hill Writes a Haiku after watching the NCAA Championship Game
Posted on April 4, 2007
By: Sam Powers
Joakim Noah
Repeat college champion
Uglier than me
Sam Powers is a teacher at a private high school in North Carolina and, yes, he knows his name is the same as Screech from “Saved by the Bell” ha ha, very funny, never heard that one before. He’s tried to be a Carolina Panthers fan, but just couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm for an expansion team, so he sticks to basketball.
Filed Under Basketball, Other Contributors, Tyrone Hill, Joakim Noah | 1 Comment
